Poems by Erin Fee

A collection of four poems by Erin Fee.

I Think When I Grow Up

I’ll be an alcoholic

I think when I grow up I’ll 

Drink myself to death

I think I’ll taste it and I’ll hate it and I’ll go back to it every day

I want a bad habit to take up I want something to ruin my life that isn’t me

But it would be me

It would

And that’s what makes me cry

Remembrance

I read a poem

They say a word

Rape

And it sends me back

I was never there but I was close

In its arms reach on a dark night

It caressed me and felt me and made me do things I didn’t want to do

It touched me and felt me up and went inside of me but

Never finished

Never came

Never achieved its primary goal

And I cannot tell 

If I am grateful that he never raped me 

Or angry that he couldn’t be bothered

Or upset that he left me so close to something people could take seriously

Because here I am

Waiting

For something to justify why I am the way I am

Sewing Needles Tempt Me

From their tin box

Small sharp

Needles

Pins

To cut my thin thin skin 

To scratch and scrape and draw small blood

I feel my heart quicken 

I can’t tell anymore

If my poems are about him hurting me

Or you loving me